Ready to improve your relationship?
& to experience more abundance of love in your life?
Is Couples Therapy just for when things are going wrong?
No! Because just when you are reading this now, it is a sign that you want to work on your relationship. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. Because let’s be honest you also maintain your personal development, work, friendships, your house, children (if you have them), and your car. Am I right? The same applies to the most important thing for every human life, our love relationship.
Being seen, loved, and appreciated are, just like eating, drinking & a roof over our heads, one of the most important basic needs of every person! Great that you want to invest in it!
But in reality, most people tend to associate couples therapy with intractable problems that they and their partner are struggling with. Couples usually wait until their situation has reached the breaking point before seeking couples therapy, often putting themselves through months or years of unnecessary disappointment, distress, and destructive behavior.
As an experienced couples therapist, I can say with confidence that much of the distress, heartbreak, and breakdown in couples’ relationships could have been avoided with early intervention. Your couple relationship can harbor rich rewards for your mental and physical health, and significantly contribute to achievements and life satisfaction in both your personal and professional life.
This program is really for couples who want to invest in themselves as well as in their relationship. Couples who want to find or reinforce the love for themselves and each other.
Can you relate?
.... then I'm here for you!
EFT Couples Therapy
During the sessions, we clarify the unhelpful interaction patterns that your relationship has become entangled in. This negative pattern has become the problem in your relationship, the common enemy, not your partner.
If you can see that, space will be created for a new way of interacting with each other. You gain insight into what you do with which you unintentionally hurt your partner, and your partner starts to see that of himself as well.
The atmosphere between you changes and there is more room for softness and connection. The basis of your relationship is strengthened and you dare to allow and trust each other more emotionally.
In the sessions, you practice expressing to each other what you feel and need. Instead of standing on each other’s toes and getting out of step, you will soon be able to feel a real connection.
'She looks at the underlying problem'
- V. B. & V. B.
'We felt at ease right away'
- K.M. & Anoniem
EFT, what is that Karlijn?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is the best-researched relationship therapy and has proven effective. The basis of EFT is attachment theory. It assumes that being seen, appreciated, and loved are the basic needs of every person! A stable relationship is like a harness against life’s ups & downs. In the safe presence of a partner or loved one, we can handle more!
Emotions often run high in a relationship. That is difficult, but also understandable because the other is so important that you do not want to lose them. In EFT we use emotions as an entrance to understand each other. There is often a lot of pain under the anger. Only when you can say what hurts you or where your needs lie, the other person can mean something to you. The other person can provide support, comfort, or reassurance, but that is only possible if you are not just angry, but dare to show your vulnerable feelings. I am a certified EFT therapist and together with you, we will check what you need.
I imagine you have questions. I have answered some possible questions below. Feel free to send me a message via the contact form or WhatsApp, or call me if you have any other questions. I am happy to answer them!
Couples therapy is not reimbursed by health insurers.
You can see it as an investment in yourself, in your relationship, and in your future (together or alone).
Some employers reimburse couples therapy. You could inquire about this with your employer.
You can reschedule an appointment in consultation. Of course, it can happen that an appointment once made does not turn out to be successful later. Please let me know in time, at least 24 hours in advance. When a session is later canceled, it will be charged.
When you have sent me a message, I will contact you as soon as possible for a free introductory meeting, lasting approximately 45 minutes (online or here in practice).
In this introduction meeting, I will ask you several questions so that I can assess whether I can do something for you, and together we will see if there is a “click” to continue together. When this feels right, the program begins.
After the introduction, we make a plan together and then we get to work! During the process, we regularly evaluate to check whether we are still sailing on the right course.
Yes, you can, but I do not recommend a separate session, because there is little possibility for depth in 1 hour. We cannot break through patterns that have taken years to slip into your relationship. In the case of counseling for a very specific problem, it is sometimes possible. Please contact me about this.
I offer couples therapy in English and Dutch.
The language of communication at home with my partner is also English. My partner emigrated to the Netherlands in 2017. I am therefore better than anyone else familiar with how language and different cultures can influence a relationship.